Essentially, it's tied to the fact that people working in birth really do care about birthing women. We all care about the family's wishes. We care about the way families are treated and made to feel. And, of course, we care about outcomes that include healthy moms and healthy babies.
According to Brene Brown, what happens when things don't go our way is that we have to blame something so that we can maintain some "semblance of control" in a world where uncontrollable things happen.
In birth, so many things just happen... and there is no one to blame. But, our human nature makes us blame something in order to help us wrap our minds around the situation and find reasoning for things that just happen. Even if it means blaming a piece a paper with the words "Birth Plan" at the top.
It is very easy to blame an inanimate object. I mean, it's a lot easier to blame the birth plan than it is to blame a real life person with actual feelings. It satisfies the need to blame without hurting anyone, right?
ARE BIRTH PLANS REALLY CURSED?
Most rational people would agree that, in reality, the notion of there being a real "curse" is just absurd. But, we use the phrase "birth plans are cursed" or "the curse of the birth plan" in order to satisfy our need to blame - even though (or especially because) no one is at fault.
A piece of paper cannot cause any of the following:
premature rupture of the membranes
stubborn cervical lips
And some may disagree with this notion, but they don't cause stubborn, dramatic patients either.
A lack of birth plan will also not prevent any of these things from happening.
I suggest that we stop saying birth plans are cursed. Blaming the birth plan doesn't do much, but allow us to discharge our emotions, and discourage women from being educated. A birth plan can be powerful, but it is not a birthy horcrux. Let's discharge our emotions through love. I believe that love is spelled E.M.P.A.T.H.Y.
Empathy is always the key. Let's empathize with the women who researched birth and did their very best to put together a plan to help themselves and their babies have a happy birth day. Validate their feelings. They are allowed to feel the way they feel when birth doesn't go as planned. Wanting to make healthy, safe choices for your family should not be viewed as a curse, but as the most loving of gestures.
Birth plans are not cursed. When they are reasonable, flexible and well thought-out, they can be wonderful communication tools to help families have positive birth experiences. Let's stop saying birth plans are cursed.