REASONS I DON'T WANT A CESAREAN: MYTH V. TRUTH

April is Cesarean Awareness Month. The fact that this life-saving surgery has its own awareness month shows that the use (and overuse) of the procedure is on the radars of many. Women are increasingly looking for ways they can avoid major abdominal surgery when it comes time to welcome their new babies. It's one of the reasons I decided to become a Birth Boot Camp Instructor and DOULA. 

Unfortunately, when a woman voices a desire to have a vaginal birth instead of a cesarean, she is often met with mixed opinions about whether or not this is something she should even plan or hope for. Just as there are wild myths out there about why women want cesareans, there are also plenty about women who would like to avoid them - and here are just a few: ​
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I DON'T WANT A C-SECTION: MYTHS & TRUTHS

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MYTH:

Women are afraid they won't love their baby if they have a cesarean.

TRUTH:

This myth is mostly derived from limited dialogue. Are there some women who are worried they won't love their baby if they have them in an operating room? Quite possible. However, what I usually hear from women is that they want an easier start to the bonding process. If possible, they want the opportunity to put their energy into bonding and breastfeeding in the early days, instead of their recovery process.  
Recovery experiences vary greatly from woman to woman, no matter the mode of delivery. But, generally speaking, the recovery from a straightforward vaginal delivery tends to be much easier than a primary cesarean.
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Birth Boot Camp DOULA, Sydney Williamson in Dallas Fort Worth, after her VBAC

MYTH:

Women don't want an ugly scar.

TRUTH:

Pregnancy and birth change us a whole lot. Inside and outside. Even if a woman doesn't have a cesarean scar, it's likely that her body has changed in other ways - saggy breasts, stretch marks, the glorious postpartum hair loss. Heck, my feet grew a half size with every baby I had! After all of the changes, what's another marking of motherhood? Sure, maybe it's not the change a mom wants to see on her body, but it's one that is embraced and part of the beauty of becoming a mother. 
Women are not quite as concerned about the external scar as they are with the effects that it may have on them internally. A cesarean brings greater risks of infection, blood loss, injury to other organs, and pain caused by scar tissue. The scar itself is the least of the average woman's concerns.
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MYTH:

They think moms who give birth vaginally are better than moms who have a cesarean.

TRUTH:

Motherhood is the hardest job in the world and the easiest one to get down on yourself about. I have yet to meet a woman who wanted to have a natural birth because she wants to be "better" than some mom who had a c-section. Maybe those women do exist somewhere, (my friend Kristi Keen wrote a great blog on this!) but I've been fortunate enough to not run into one.
I don't see moms facing off about their births (unless it's in the comments of some Facebook click bait, but those threads are usually full of crazies anyway). In the real world, I see moms looking out for each other. They aren't in any kind of competition. They are doing this mothering thing together - organizing meal trains, offering encouraging words, donating breastmilk, sharing formula samples and coupons with friends who can use them, looking after older siblings so the new mom can go cry in a parking lot somewhere. THAT'S what real moms are doing these days. 
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MYTH:

They think they will get a trophy for having a baby come out of their vagina.

TRUTH:

I really don't know how this myth got started. For real. I have never ever heard of anyone getting a medal, a trophy or a blue ribbon for having a baby come out of her vagina. NOR have I ever heard of a mother expecting to get one. To be honest, though, every mom deserves a dadgum award. And a bottle of wine. And some coffee. And a maid. And maybe a nap or someone to entertain the kids so she could poop alone and in peace for once. Or maybe we could just not mock them or be condescending when they are trying to prepare for something as big as childbirth. It's not polite. 
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MYTH:

They are overly concerned about the "experience" and don't care about the health of their baby.

TRUTH:

My fellow childbirth instructor, Laura Simpson, does a great job debunking this myth. "In most circumstances, cesarean is actually more dangerous for both mother and baby, as well as future pregnancies and births. It's not about the experience, although the emotional part of unmedicated birth is indescribably wonderful. It's about wanting what is physically safe *and* emotionally satisfying for most mothers and babies."
​My good friend Jillian Blakeman (who also teaches fabulous childbirth classes) makes a great point. "People thought we were prioritizing a certain experience over safety. The reality: We want a big family and had multiple family members who were told to stop having children after two cesareans." The impact of a cesarean can reach farther that we might anticipate. It's a common procedure and generally considered safe - but the lasting effects can't be ignored.

I want to make it abundantly clear that I believe the health of the mother and baby holds supreme importance at birth. However, this is not the only important part of childbirth. How mothers are treated and how they are made to feel throughout their birth stays with them forever. They will never forget the day they gave birth - their emotional well-being matters.
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Birth Boot Camp Instructor and DOULA, Melissa Kosloski after her cesarean and VBAC

As I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, April is Cesarean Awareness Month. If you know someone who's preparing for a vaginal birth, especially a VBAC, give them some encouragement. Tell them they CAN do it. If you know someone preparing for a cesarean, give them some positive encouragement, too. Motherhood is tough. Let's give moms the support they need instead of flinging around silly birth myths.